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Friday, 21 November 2008

recently, im so tired because of preparing the presentation slides..everyday goes to college from 9am to 5pm..after tht, continue the work at home till 12smth..im like a robot!! actually v don't plan do it so fast but the situation force us to do so..tired..mom, im tired..
our maketing lecturer, suddenly want our group do the presentation next week (26/11)..we get shock! so, we need to prepare them now..but the most angry and headache things are, she hasn't teach the topic yet and want us to present them..so how?? how r we going to do?? is not fair to the first group who do the presentation...im tired of it..i got no time to relax myself..i can't breath..ergh!
but if we think positively, if we do first, we got no more worry anymore on presentation, we can put 100% attention on other work..but there are 3 coursework that have to hand it at the same date(10/12)!! my gosh!!! which means that after my presentation, i cant rest..i need to play my robot role to finish up them..i want to quit!!sobsob...
i need a huge hug...warm hug..im need it now..who can give me now???
-doR-

Friday, 31 October 2008

iM blanK...

i don't like to blog when ppl is around me..i love to blog alone because i fell relax to blog this way...thts why i din blog for so long..but there is no line for me to blog too..haha..its hard for me now to on9 because there is no more wireless near my homestay..sigh
yesterday, i jz have a small arguement with him..i dunno whether it is an arguement or..gosh!im balnk now..dunno what to say..i miss him..i really miss him..its been quite long i din meet him..sometimes i feel pain, dunno whether should i cont this relationship or not..is there any happy ending for us?? i dunno..im blank..sometimes i dun wana leave him..i love him..dor is blank ...i need his hug now..i big hug..
a lot of pressure surround me..exam, presentation, coursework..ergh! blank and pressure..i need a big hug..a warm, sweet, lovely, support hug now..wana cry but no tears drop my eyes..
......

loVEdoR

Thursday, 02 October 2008

a week...

a week holiday goin to end soon..my gosh! days being so fast over..so scary! when day after day, which mean we getting older and older...can't imagine how i look when im old...curious? mistery? excited? about my future..my career, my life, my wedding, my family, my children,etc..will all be good? or how? do u ever think all this questions before??
mm..this whole week i nvr do anything..jz watch, eat, sleep..my gosh! im so lazy..no cure anymore..useless dor.. although i ad noe that i have hw and coursework to do..but i still wasting my time on useless things.. im wondering why am i don't have any self-decipline? slap me! faster slap me! and shout and me, wake up dor!!! is time to wake up!!! frustrated on myself..what a shameless..
one thing im sad are although everyone knows there is a responsiblity to themselves, but they will never take any action on it..sad..everytime there needs somebody to wake them up, remind them..actually that is everyone responsiblity and everyone should remind each other and not just the only who does the responsibliy! there will let it be if there is no one to remind or wake them up..
curious about malaysian, i think included me?if u r good to them, they will say bads about u, but if u r not good to them, what they will say? bads too..wondering, wat malaysian need?? remind them, say u r so k'po..not remind them, y u r so selfish? is hard to be a human..do this also wrong, do tht oso wrong, then what should i do??? sad being a malaysian..haha! u say am i right?
-loVEdoR-

Wednesday, 27 August 2008

friends are not friends anymore

......... mm, what to write? i'm so boring and don't know what can i do..read book? mm..lazy! listen to music..ya,listening but..still boring..chatting? mm..too sad, nobody want to chat with me...(T.T)
since my mom control me again, i always stay at home..wasting my time online, watching movies or series..omg, i don't wana do tht but what can help me? i got nth to do except all tht... Ya, my friend ask me to read the book she borrow to me but...i just can't help myself to touch the book cz when i turn into the 1st page, i read n read and my eyes keep closing and closing...sorry ban..not in purposely, i just can't help myself into it..haha
once i got nth to do, i started to think nonsense..mm, recently i think about friends are not friends anymore.. why i said so? friends that are use to be very close last time, now is like stranger..no more chit-chating among friends anymore..like stranger now..quite sad to say that but truth is the truth..everyone keep changing..ya, change is defitnately but y mz change good friends? the status keep changing..fr good friends to friends then lastly be stranger?? where have gone all the good memories that had been create? jz delete it?? no more laughing........ good memories slowly been forget by everyone.. i think they have change but i think they will also think that i have already change too.. so, i think there is no blame......
some friends tht ad change and make me really hate her...mayb like what my ex-roomate said, friend & friend can't stay together, there will be many weird attitude or character that you have nvr seen b4 which might make you hate her.......once i think of her, my mind keep telling me that i hate her..i want to change it to " i like her" but very sorry, i can't help myself....because she keep doing stuff that make me hate her fr time to time..but i will know how to differentiate time, sometimes she doesn't make me feel like hating her..but once she does, i really hate her..feel like going to chop her off! but i also very bad...haha, i like to "perli" her once i don't like her and make her don't like me and hate me! haha..how bad am i..but sometimes i think back , am i too over?? but sometimes she is over that make me really hate her!! ergh!
sometimes, i will think that get graduate a.f.a.p so that i can stay away fr her..after graduate, quickly delete her fon number, delete everything that belongs to her..then laugh as loud as i can..haha now you know how bad am i??? you think i can do so?? erm..actually i also don't know..funny? but i know she also hate me, very..trust me! haha.. ppl will think tht im insane because still can laugh whenever i know some1 is hating me...i can't judge too much because i myself is still hating someone..i want to free myself, but..mm..i don't know..jz don't know what to say...but...i still hate her very much no matter what..sorry!
friends are not friends anymore..................
-doR-

Tuesday, 19 August 2008

im a USELESS!

sometimes i really feel like " im a useless"...is true! i really don't know y? i always don't do things well..no one can trust me..sad
for example, my driving. still i feel like ppl are laughing at me, and still showing off infront of me. is my own prob or what? no one can support me except for him. he alwaz lend me his ear and advise.. why i change myself to this step? why?
why should i alwaz think negative? i always advise him not to think negative but i don't advise myself..i really useless! sometimes really hate myself..ergh!
i know we should not say ourself is a useless. but i just can't control myself..i don't know y? till today, im trying to release something from myself, but still it can't..still it stick to me.. i really hate her! still! why must she like tht? no matter in what, i still hate her..it will nvr gone......